A Day to Rejoice....

I didn't sleep again last night. But this time, its a good "not sleep". After Countdown last night, and through exhaustion that we both felt, we still just couldn't resist talking to each other late into the night. Nights like last night really enforce to me what Rusty and Jenn are always saying, when they talk about always being a student of your partner. I learned so much last night, and all that learning just makes me more and more excited to be Jason's wife!

Job 33:26
He prays to God and finds favor with him, he sees God's face and shouts for joy; he is restored by God to his righteous state.

Today, I am thankful for the quiet moments God gives Jason and I together to focus on Him. His love is so great, He was able to bring 2 people together and connect them in a way that will never end. So long as our relationship is built on the rock, we can never fail. That's pretty cool!

When I look in the mirror I see....

green eyes staring back.
my father's nose.
my trying past.
my hope for the future.
a strong, independent woman.
a belief in God I never thought I would.
love.
hate.

years of struggling to overcome a hidden demon.
a desire to be different.
a fear of the unknown.
hope.

Today I am thankful for second chances.

Prayers to all those affected by the terrible tragedy at Ft. Hood today.

No rest....its not a beautiful thing

So, I didn't sleep last night. I feel asleep at 10, had to get up at midnight to take a pill for this morning's blood test. I read a little bit about the medicine, and knew that this was a possibility, but hoped it didn't happen. NOPE! 2.30am comes and I am WIDE AWAKE, STARVING, more hungry than I have ever been in my life. The problem? I couldn't eat from 10pm to after my blood test at 8am. I finally fell back asleep around 5 or 5.15. 5.30...ambulance and fire trucks pull into my apartment complex, sirens blaring! Normally, in a situation like this, I would have just gotten up, gone to the gym, worked out, showered, had breakfast. But, with this blood test, I wasn't supposed to work out. So I laid in bed, harassed the dog (I don't sleep, she doesn't sleep!), and let my mind wander. I hope this is some form of "being a mommy practice"?

Matthew 5: 11: Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Today I am thankful for my freedom of religion. God has been pressing upon my heart all those trying to spread the Word in Latin American countries, being killed because their ideals don't match those of the regime. This week I have really been in prayer for them, and their desire to help the impoverished people of so many nations come to know the glory of God!

Rest.....its a beautiful thing!

Oh man, I had a great night's sleep last night. Usually I toss and turn, wake up to check on the dog, wake up because my arms are tingling (I rarely move in the night, so sometimes that becomes painful), and just generally don't sleep well. Not last night! I set the tv timer the longest I could, thinking it would take forever for me to sleep, and then the next thing I know my alarm is going off in the morning. It felt so great, and needed. I seem to be so tired lately, I am very thankful for the rest, even if I'm tired again.

Today, I am thankful for doctors (and their PA's (but I consider them doctors too!)). Usually just by poking you, prodding you, questioning you, and looking at some numbers that come from blood, they are able to tell you (hopefully!) what's wrong with you, and (hopefully!) how to fix you. Things that not all that long ago would have killed both my mother and my father, are now taken care of thanks to teams of doctors.

Thanks to all of you who have gone or are going through that form of training!

Thankfullness Abounds!

24 Days Until Thanksgiving!!!! There is always something magical about the time of year ranging from Thanksgiving to New Year's. Its just this feeling of happy, even if things aren't going well.

Most know that the holidays for me are always bittersweet affairs. Being away from my family at this time is hard for me, but being with my family is equally as hard. This year especially is going to be difficult, what with the beginning of the whole "leaving and cleaving" process nearing.

I am amazed constantly by the love and grace of God. I spent a lot of quiet time yesterday, and I just realized that when I'm overwhelmed, or feeling these negative feelings, I'm just going to have to stop and pray. Which is probably going to lead to a lot of praying. I mean a lot, a lot.

The month of thanks: Today, I am thankful for my mother. She gave birth to me, and teaches me patience and kindness.

Power of Prayer!

Its been a while since I've blogged, and that's just kinda sad.

God has been doing some crazy awesome things in my life. He has been challenging me, pushing me, guiding me, and revealing things to me that I never though possible.

Last night at Countdown, our mentor couple (newlyweds who tell us how their perspective has changed in the few months they have been married!) said something that really touched me, and had I not been so tired last night (they took a lot of blood yesterday, ok!), I really would have liked to talk to Jason about it. She talked about praying together, and how she humbled herself toward him by asking him to pray for her. I think its so simple to believe that if we don't tell anyone our faults, its easier to hide them, especially from our spouse. But God knows. He knows where we struggle, and where we need help.

I hope that prayer will continue to be as important to Jason and I's lives as it has become this week. Praying with him and for him has changed things. And I will continue to make it a point to ask him to help pray for me in areas where I am weak, and need change.

God is great!

Its funny how once you start listening to God, things just start falling into place. He is so good! The past few weeks of Countdown have been really amazing. When we first got engaged, I was so wrapped up in wedding planning; what kind of cake will we have? what kind of flowers? how will my dress look? It was all so exciting, and I didn't even realize that it was the main focus.

Countdown has really helped me refocus. Our wedding is one day, our marriage is forever. Instead of worrying about the perfect day, why don't we worry about how we will face problems when they come up? Instead of focusing on looking like a princess that day, why don't we worry about learning how to turn all of our issues and disagreements to God?

So, in short, I'm over traditional wedding planning. Our wedding is not going to be about us, instead it is going to be about our relationship and love for Christ. I'm ready to be Mrs. Ross, and seeing where God is going to take us. I keep saying this over and over, but I know God has some really amazing plans for us.