The month of February will always hold a place in my heart, and especially this year as I remember a 4 year anniversary that I never thought would come. This year I celebrate two things that I never thought would be just a memory that I grinned and shook my head at when I think about them. Memories that were my life, and that almost made me lose it.

I remember February 4 years ago, and I remember how I felt then. Its amazing to contrast my life between February 2006 and February 2010. It is truly the difference between dark and light. And, I've discovered, good and evil.

I'm so blessed to have made it through, and in a short amount of time, turned my life around. If anyone ever questions God's providence and grace, they simply have to take a look at where I was, and where I am. He is nothing buy mercy and love.

Check, check, check, check it off!

That's what Jason and I did this weekend in regards to our wedding stuff: we checked a whole bunch of things off the to-do list. Its hard to believe that we are now less than 16 weeks away from our wedding! Its going to be amazing to see the culmination of Jason, my parents, his parents, and I's hard work, and to be a part of the amazing day God will join us together. Now, if only I can keep checking things off!

1. Got our second, and much more reasonable, floral proposal back. Our finalized one will come this week, so hopefully we'll be able to do a deposit and sign the contract before the week is over!
2. Our invitations have arrived!!! And they are more beautiful than I ever imagined!
3. The information for the guys' tuxes are now in the computer at Men's Wearhouse
4. Jason is measured for his tux (which was fun to watch)
5. Our newspaper announcement has been sent in
6. We've started looking at favors
7. Our registry has been updated
8. I made my appointments to get my dress altered! :)
   

Whew. We are on it.

Nostalgia

I'm feeling very nostalgic today. I guess it has to do with everything going on in my life. Next month is the 5 year anniversary of something that changed my life in every way possible. A little over 4 months from now I will be married to the most amazing man I have ever met. My relationship with the Lord has been deepened to lengths I never thought possible. I've gone through trials, tribulations, worries, and happy moments. I have been to the bottom, I have been to the top, and I have been everywhere in between.

I take a lot of comfort in the fact that even though I don't know where I'll be in 5 more years, God does. And He has a plan for me. That is so beautiful.

2010 is off to a bang

2010 has started, and its going to be a whole new type of year. After my surgery, and discovering what the infection that has been tearing my skin apart is, its time to have a whole other outlook on things.

This year, things are going to be different. I'm going to focus on taking care of myself more. Spiritually, physically, emotionally. I never thought that running myself so hard, and ignoring what my body was telling me would get me into so much trouble. But it has. I have run my tank to empty, so now its time to fill it up with the good stuff: God's love, Jason's love, the love of friends and family, healthy foods, exercise, plenty of sleep, and never pushing myself to my breaking point.

2010

Goodbye 2009. You have been a long, interesting, and challenging year. I've seen many downs and several ups. I can't really say I'm sad to see you go, though.

Hello, 2010! You are going to be an awesome year! There is so much happening this year, and I am going to spend the entire time thanking God for the wonderful blessings.

This is the year I get married!!!

Wedding dress...aquired.

That's right! My beautiful and amazing wedding dress is in "my possession" (aka at Jason's parents)!!! I was so happy to get to put it on, and see how beautiful it is. Looking at that dress just hypes me up even more for the amazing adventure we are going to share!

I am getting a little more in the Christmas cheer. I think I was stressing because I couldn't think of the perfect gift to give Jason. Then I realized...I will NEVER find the perfect gift for him. There is nothing in the world that I could give him that would show him how much I love him. So, I got him something I know he will like, and use, but it just won't be that "perfect gift".

I love the 40 days of prayer and fasting that our church is doing. It is really a time to focus on God's love and redemption in our community, state, nation, and world. There are going to be amazing things coming out of these days.

Blessings abound

I am constantly broken to see the amazing work of God around me. Be it a small answered prayer, a late night text message from my darling fiance, finishing a project I never thought I would finish, or hearing from an old friend, God is around us in everything we do, and if we pause, we can notice His hands everywhere.

My heart and flesh cry out
To You, the Living God
Your Spirit's water to my soul
I've tasted, and I've seen
Come once again to me
I will draw near to You
Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
--Chris Tomlin--