2010

Goodbye 2009. You have been a long, interesting, and challenging year. I've seen many downs and several ups. I can't really say I'm sad to see you go, though.

Hello, 2010! You are going to be an awesome year! There is so much happening this year, and I am going to spend the entire time thanking God for the wonderful blessings.

This is the year I get married!!!

Wedding dress...aquired.

That's right! My beautiful and amazing wedding dress is in "my possession" (aka at Jason's parents)!!! I was so happy to get to put it on, and see how beautiful it is. Looking at that dress just hypes me up even more for the amazing adventure we are going to share!

I am getting a little more in the Christmas cheer. I think I was stressing because I couldn't think of the perfect gift to give Jason. Then I realized...I will NEVER find the perfect gift for him. There is nothing in the world that I could give him that would show him how much I love him. So, I got him something I know he will like, and use, but it just won't be that "perfect gift".

I love the 40 days of prayer and fasting that our church is doing. It is really a time to focus on God's love and redemption in our community, state, nation, and world. There are going to be amazing things coming out of these days.

Blessings abound

I am constantly broken to see the amazing work of God around me. Be it a small answered prayer, a late night text message from my darling fiance, finishing a project I never thought I would finish, or hearing from an old friend, God is around us in everything we do, and if we pause, we can notice His hands everywhere.

My heart and flesh cry out
To You, the Living God
Your Spirit's water to my soul
I've tasted, and I've seen
Come once again to me
I will draw near to You
Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere
--Chris Tomlin--

Its official....

I am stressed. I've tried to resist it, I've tried to deny it. Today, I'm embracing it.

My car is broken down...again. It made a squealing noise today and a terrible smell, and its making a clicking noise. I already need my back breaks redone and my oil change, but I don't think a. is being caused by b., and I'm afraid its all going to end up costing me big money.

Add that to the fact that Christmas is coming up, and whereas I usually love doing big gifts for people, this year I just don't think that's going to happen. Jason is graduating and I would love to throw him a big party to celebrate how proud of him I am for graduating college...that can't be either.

Then our wedding. Even though my parents are paying for everything, I still feel bad about it. I always have when I cost them money.

I know that I need to trust God with my money. And I know that if I have faith in Him, he will take care of everything I need. I'm constantly praying for God's mercy and guidance.

So, if it seems I'm a little distracted lately, I am. If I don't seem as friendly and bubbly as normal, its because I'm not. Please don't chastise me for it, or tell me to "put on a happy face". Let me be silent and pray, please.

Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

My prayer list keeps growing and growing. I'm ok with that in a way, because I know God will touch each one of them in His own special way, but I'm so sad that so many people I love are having to struggle and suffer. I just hope that everyone remembers that God has things under control, and that I love each and every one of you.

Things are so busy right now. I'm helping do sponsorship for Run for Compassion, which is an amazing organization. Jason and I are now under the 6 month mark for our wedding and I have been a terrible planner, and am going to start paying for it. Work is busy. Jason is busy trying to graduate and get a job. Busy, busy, busy. BUT, I'm still not feeling 100%. Actually, I'm probably feeling about 42%, if I had to give it a number. This time of the year is so crazy anyway. Hopefully soon the infections and tiredness will go away, but for now, I'll live with them.

Every time I look at this picture, my heart smiles: